The Emotional Landscape
This painting studies how the body keeps score long after the moment has passed. It acknowledges that emotional and physical experiences leave traces in the body even when the event is over, the nervous system continues to hold the impact. Anchored in trauma theory (Bessel van Der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score), this work explores embodied memory: how the body holds what the mind tries to forget. It reflects the tension between wanting to be intimate, but the need to feel safe. This is a paradox that defines so many post intimacy experiences. The body remembers sensations and fears associated with the past.
The healing process is also somatic: it is a physical process not just a mental one. The body stores what was never spoken, things we didn’t know how to name or maybe weren’t allowed to express. This painting highlights the limitations of language in processing trauma after intimacy. It emphasises how painting becomes a non verbal form of expression, portraying what the body already knows. This painting is filled with compassion, the slow return to feeling after scanning for safety.
The Story of Creation
This piece became a way for me to understand my body on deeper levels: biologically, psychologically and emotionally. The more I paint figurative pieces the more I start to recognise the patterns I was never taught: survival responses, hormones, learned performance, silence, panic and memory. When I paint it feels like I am having a conversation with my body. Through this process, I began to recognise my own trauma responses, vagus nerve signalling, attachment patterns and somatic imprints.
The nervous system responds to what feels safe or what feels like a threat, it isn’t able to distinguish between relationship labels, whether you tell yourself something is casual or exclusive. When you have had experiences shaped by trauma, your body learns from the past even when you want something different. Old experiences become templates that teach your nervous system what to expect and brace for. Intimacy can trigger a response that feels too big or irrational. Often when women are told they are over reacting after intimacy, it isn’t about attachment or emotion, it is the biology of the nervous system doing its job.
This work is deeply connected to the psychology of performance: how much women are taught to mask, appear at ease, to stay relaxed. It mirrors the social behaviour many of us internalise: to perform being calm when actually we are scanning for safety. This piece follows the body’s attempt to trust again. It emphasises that the body’s intelligence isn’t something to correct or control, but something to listen to. The painting embodies the slow and compassionate process of self regulation.
Personal Connection
For survivors of sexual trauma, the body can feel like a contradiction: both hyper aware and numb at the same time. Many women stay vigilant while feeling disconnected from their own emotions. For so long I didn’t have the language to explain this, painting became my way of translating what my body knew but my mind couldn’t articulate.
Performance during intimacy often begins as a survival strategy. This work reflects how deeply the performance of being relaxed or desirable becomes ingrained in women’s subconscious behaviour. Learning about the biological responses of safety, bonding and post intimacy panic has helped me make sense of what women are often told is “overreacting”.
Each figure I paint becomes a reflective tool for understanding my own emotional patterns and boundaries. With every piece, I create space for healthier responses by showing my nervous system that different outcomes are possible. I’m learning that the body doesn’t need fixing, it needs understanding. Each painting is a study in what my body already knows and what my mind is still learning.
Display recommendations
Size: 150cm x 100cm
Medium: Acrylic paint on canvas
The softness of the colours make this piece ideal for spaces where you unwind and reconnect with yourself. It holds space for moments when you feel overstimulated or overwhelmed, encouraging you to slow down and listen to what your body is trying to tell you. This artwork validates the hidden moments women rarely articulate, becoming a companion in self understanding.
For anyone navigating the aftermath of trauma, learning to trust again, or simply wanting to feel more at home in their body, this piece can anchor that journey. Its gentle, sculptural tones embody emotional safety, inviting connection and deeper reflection on women’s experiences. Its presence adds warmth and psychological richness, making any room feel more lived in.
